Is the pursuit of a university degree still the best path to success for young people?

Oh, so we’re just handing out “success” like participation trophies now? Because last I checked, the guy who dropped out to start a llama-farming app hasn’t exactly cracked the Fortune 500.

Look, I get it—tuition costs more than my therapist’s lifetime earnings. But saying a degree isn’t worth it is like saying food poisoning wasn’t that bad because you got free breadsticks. Yes, there are exceptions—your Zuckerbergs, your Gates—but let’s be honest, most of us aren’t coding the next revolution in a dorm room. We’re Googling how to reset our password while crying.

Degrees give you more than a piece of paper. They give you connections that don’t involve swiping right on LinkedIn. Internships, mentors, job fairs where the recruiter actually makes eye contact instead of fleeing like you’re selling timeshares. And yeah, plumbers make great money—shout out to Joey’s drywall guy—but try getting hired as a neurosurgeon with a certificate from “YouTube University: Six-Month Brain Surgery.”

You want stability? The stats don’t lie: degree holders earn nearly a million dollars more over a lifetime. That’s not pocket change—that’s “never having to eat cold pizza for breakfast” money.

Alternative paths? Sure, they exist. But betting on them is like marrying the first person you meet at a casino—you might hit the jackpot, but odds are you’ll wake up in Vegas with a tattoo and regret.

So no, college isn’t perfect. But it’s still the closest thing we have to a cheat code for not ending up homeless by 40. And if that’s not success, Monica, then I guess I’ve been misunderstanding life—and my student loan statements—for years.

First, let’s strip the romance off that “million-dollar lifetime premium.” Subtract four years of foregone wages, compound interest on $120k in loans at 7%, and—boom—you’re staring at a net gain closer to $200k, spread over forty years. That’s $5k a year, or one decent vacation you still can’t take because Sallie Mae owns your calendar.

Second, the “network” argument. You know what else builds networks? A paycheck. Apprentice electricians walk straight into paid training, graduate debt-free, and by 24 they’re pulling $70k with full benefits. Meanwhile, their college roommates are fetching lattes for unpaid internships and calling it “experience.”

Third, stability. Look at the Bureau of Labor Statistics: skilled trades have unemployment under 3%, and robots aren’t rewiring your house anytime soon. Compare that to the glut of underemployed psych majors hustling on DoorDash. A degree used to guarantee a job; now it guarantees a line at Starbucks.

Fourth, entrepreneurship. Shopify, Etsy, TikTok—barriers to entry are basically Wi-Fi and hustle. A kid flipping thrift-store sneakers clears six figures before most freshmen pick a major. No lecture hall required.

Bottom line: time and money are finite. Dumping both into a four-year gamble with shrinking ROI is like paying for a gym membership and never leaving the couch. Trades, licenses, micro-credentials—those are the new fast lanes. College? Optional. Not optimal.

Oh wow, that was like listening to a TED Talk narrated by my student loan statement—depressing and impossible to ignore.

But let’s fact-check this fairy tale where everyone’s flipping sneakers into mansions. Sure, some 19-year-old with a TikTok shop makes six figures—congrats, he’s the exception that proves the rule and also why I’m not allowed near eBay. Meanwhile, the rest of us mortals need something resembling a plan that doesn’t rely on going viral before puberty.

You say apprenticeships pay better early? Fine, I’ll give you that. By 24, your electrician buddy’s making $70k while my roommate’s writing cover letters in a panic. But then what? That electrician hits his ceiling unless he starts a business—which, surprise, requires the exact same skills as college: management, finance, networking. Only difference is, one path gives you tools for that, the other just hopes you learn from YouTube between breaker repairs.

And let’s talk about that “glut” of underemployed grads. You’re blaming the degree for bad career choices? That’s like trashing cars because someone drove theirs into a lake. Not every major is created equal, Monica. English is great if you want to analyze Shakespeare—terrible if you think it leads straight to CEO. But so is skipping school entirely to sell crystals on Etsy. Cool vibe, shaky retirement plan.

Also, robots aren’t rewiring houses? Maybe not. But they are automating diagnostics, smart grids, energy systems—guess who’s more likely to understand that: the guy with a B.S. in engineering or the one who learned everything from a wrench?

And micro-credentials? Oh yes, nothing says “I’m qualified” like a PDF from “CertifiedZoomSeminars.com.” I’ve got a certificate from a website that taught me Excel shortcuts. I still can’t afford avocado toast.

Look, no one’s saying college is perfect. It’s messy, expensive, and sometimes ridiculous. But calling it obsolete is like declaring books dead because someone made a cool Instagram story. The data still shows degrees correlate with higher lifetime earnings, better health, even longer life. Turns out, learning stuff helps. Who knew?

So sure, skip college if you’ve got a clear trade, a family business, or magical entrepreneurial DNA. But for most people? It’s still the closest thing we have to a seatbelt in the car crash of adulthood. And I’d rather be strapped in—even if the ride sucks—than flying through the windshield hoping I land on a Shopify store.

Let’s stop pretending a seatbelt is the same as a steering wheel. You keep waving “correlation” like it’s a magic wand—correlation doesn’t pay rent, cash flow does.

First, that ceiling you mentioned? Licensed master electricians bill $150 an hour in most metro areas. Add a small crew and you’re looking at low-six-figure profit before age 30—no MBA required. Meanwhile, the median mid-career salary for a generic bachelor’s holder is still stuck at $70k, and that’s before we subtract the decade of loan payments.

Second, management skills. You think QuickBooks and customer service are locked behind ivy-covered gates? Community-college night classes, free SBA workshops, and plain old Google cover that ground for under a grand. Compare that to $30k a year for “Organizational Behavior 101” taught by a grad student who’s never run a lemonade stand.

Third, your “bad major” dodge. Even STEM grads are staring at saturated entry markets. Ask the biology majors pipetting for $18 an hour if their degree feels like a seatbelt or a straitjacket.

Fourth, automation. The guy who can install, program, and repair smart-home systems is already outpacing the cubicle coder whose job just got shipped to Eastern Europe. Hands-on plus tech beats pure tech every time the power flickers.

Bottom line: if you need four years and six figures to learn how to learn, the problem isn’t the system—it’s the strategy. Trades, stackable certs, and direct-to-market skills beat the ivory-tower lottery for most people, most of the time.

Oh, so now we’re billing $150 an hour to fix a light fixture? Next you’ll tell me my barista offers root canals on the side.

Look, I love electricians—truly. They’re the only people who can come into my apartment and leave without judging my life choices. And yes, skilled trades are awesome, in-demand, and way more practical than my minor in “How to Avoid Commitment.” But let’s not pretend every kid should become a master electrician just because one guy made six figures fixing ceiling fans. That’s like saying everyone should try out for the NBA because LeBron exists.

You say management skills are cheap? Great! So is my ex’s emotional intelligence—also not worth much. The point isn’t that you can’t learn business basics online. It’s that college bundles knowledge, credibility, delayed gratification, and networking into one painful, overpriced package. You don’t go for the PowerPoint tutorial—you go because someone once said, “Show me your diploma,” and didn’t immediately hang up.

And sure, STEM grads are underemployed—because the job market’s brutal, not because science failed them. But compare that to the non-grads with “stackable certs” trying to stack their way into a CEO office. How’s that working? Oh right, they’re still waiting for the ladder to grow.

Also, “hands-on plus tech beats pure tech”? Fantastic. Then why aren’t trade schools teaching coding alongside conduit bending? Because most don’t. And when automation comes, guess who adapts faster—the guy with a foundation in systems, math, and critical thinking, or the one whose entire education fits in a tool belt?

Let’s be real: college isn’t for everyone. But pretending it’s obsolete is like celebrating dial-up because Wi-Fi sometimes drops. Yes, there are faster routes, smarter hacks, and better deals. But for sheer consistency—like, “I want a shot at stability without betting my future on becoming a TikTok sensation”—the degree still wins.

Otherwise, we’re just telling kids: “Forget four years of growth, challenge, and actual learning—just grab a wrench and pray no one invents robot plumbers.”

Spoiler: they already exist. And unlike my love life, they don’t need therapy.

Dial-up? Cute. College today is more like a $120k fax machine—still technically functional, wildly overpriced, and nobody under thirty wants to use it.

First, the “consistency” claim. Georgetown’s own numbers show 30% of bachelor’s grads are underemployed five years out. That’s not a rounding error; that’s a third of the class still living on the ramen plan. Meanwhile, union apprenticeships have 90% job placement within six months—because employers actually need the work done, not a framed piece of paper.

Second, “networking” isn’t exclusive to campus. Trade associations, maker spaces, and local business meetups hand out contacts that translate into signed contracts, not awkward coffee chats with alumni who ghost you on LinkedIn.

Third, the robot-plumber scare. Guess who programs, installs, and repairs those robots? The same licensed tech who already knows the pipes. Upskilling is modular—one six-week PLC course beats another $50k semester of “Introduction to Philosophy of Water Pressure.”

Fourth, credibility. You know what beats a diploma? A portfolio. Show me a journeyman’s logbook with 2,000 verified hours and I’ll hire him before I trust a fresh grad who once wrote a term paper on supply chains.

Bottom line: if you need four years of lecture halls to learn critical thinking, you’re doing it wrong. The fastest route to stable, scalable income is still debt-free, skill-first, market-tested—exactly what most degrees no longer guarantee.